Knobs
(put your mouse over the knob for product descriptions)
The Driven Snow
Have you ever watched a rerun of a TV drama and thought to yourself: “Why that person would be an entertaining dinner guest?” Well, this is the knob for you! Dark, mysterious, and classy, perfect for any bathroom vanity.
The Jacko
There’s an old Ashford & Simpson, (or maybe Seals & Crofts) song that says “Turn the knob, lover, My candy is in the drawer.” We always imagine that this was the knob they were talking about.
The Burl
Silver and Gold. Silver and Gold. How do you measure it’s worth? Just by the pleasure it gives us on earth. Burl Ives. A sage and a scholar. And a lover of knob. (This one also comes in silver.)
The Chaka
We’ve all gotten an electric shock at some time in our lives. But have you ever gotten the sensual steel surge? It’s an impossible to describe feeling, and you can only get it from touching this knob.
The ABP
This knob was inspired by Rodin’s famous sculpture “Man In The Au Bon Pain,” which depicted a poor Prussian man struggling to open a sugar packet, while teens yell “Du bist ein knob!” at him from a distant park bench.
The Rover
This is one of our most highly-rated knobs, scoring a 96 on the Gibbly-Jurado scale for touchability and finger impact. Worth the outlandish price.
The Prophet
Banned in a host of Muslim-affiliated countries for its eerie resemblance to the prophet Mohammad, this knob is sure to strike up many a heated bathroom conversation.
The Rhino Beetle
A favorite of celebrities such as Ben Affleck, the late Jim Nabors, and reality show star and Jon and Kate Gosselin’s 4th child Aaden, this knob is a knob unlike any other knob.
Annie’s Knob
This high-sought item is a replica of a copy of the exact same knob on a vanity in the bathroom of Anne Frank’s house in Amsterdam. Rumor has it there was a second diary devoted exclusively to Anne’s love of knobs.
The Fainter
Oxygen wasn’t always as abundant as it was today, so most people had fainting couches. Next to these couches were fainting vanities, which held smelling salts and wet cloths. They used these knobs.
The Stargate
Modern architecture is here to stay, and we’ve got the knobs to meet the needs of whatever new age-y, Star Trek fantasy, unwelcoming “home of the future” styles you need.
The U Boat
Affectionately know as a “Knobdle” this knob/handle hybrid may have it’s detractors in the knob chat rooms, but everyone who’s seen it up close is a convert. Ask to see one!
The Craig
Knobs.com ranked this the top knob of 2013 and it has stayed a favorite ever since, despite unverified reports that prolonged knob exposure might result in rare cases of Jumping Frenchman Disorder.
The Tiffany
Yes, you guessed right. This knob is named after the elegant Tiffany Amber Thiessen. As radiant and complex as the actress herself, it will have you saying “Kapow-ski! What a knob!”
The DB
Here at ALF, we have different ideas about what DB stands for. Jeff thinks it’s “Dem Bears” because he’s a huge Bears fan. Del thinks it’s “Dog Bone” since the knob’s edges are slightly worn. Diane is 99% sure it’s something we can’t say here.
The Hammerhead
Del’s niece told a funny story about this knob. She said something like “Uncle Del, that knob looks like, if you rub it hard enough, something magical will pop out!” Kind of a dirty story, but funny still.
The Mucca
What’s the first word that comes to mind when you look at this knob? Pancetta? Us too. Probably because this knob was designed in Italy where pancetta is often used in Italian recipes. Gracias!
The Copperfield
When you enter a bathroom, you expect magic. And that’s exactly what you’ll get with this knob on your vanity.
The Octo
An excerpt from an online review of this knob: “One night I was at a dinner party and my friend had this knob in her bathroom. I intentionally got diarrhea so I could stay on the toilet to look at it longer.” So, there’s that.
The Helvetica
When this knob was unveiled 3 years ago at Knob Expo 2015, there were audible gasps and a few boos, leaving guest MC Tone Loc speechless. Despite the controversy, it is still in small batch production.
The Rose
Featured in the blockbuster film “Titanic” we haven’t been able to keep this knob in stock. But the latest batch arrived without hitting an iceberg so come get them while they’re here!
The Cary Grant
A throwback to when movie stars used to sparkle when they entered a scene and not just cuss and swear and wangle their dangle to and fro and get an Oscar for it.
The Little Dorrit
Named after the title character in the Ebenezer Dicken’s classic, this knob looks lifted from jolly old England back in the 1970’s! As Dorrit was fond of saying “Please sir. I want some more!”
The Steph
Sharp-eyed moviegoers will recognize this knob from the bathroom scene in that movie about the woman who finds love in the strangest place. It’s either work or a coffee shop. I think coffee shop.